Perfectly Imperfect.

That deep, gut wrenching, stomach churning, pain that is so unfamiliar you can't even begin describe where it came from or what it means...  I assume that's mommy worry.  I've had tough breaks, and stress, and unexpected pitfalls in my life - but the thought that something isn't exactly right for your baby is completely different.  It's a feeling so deep and specific, I know I've never felt it until now.  

So many moms (myself included) spend countless hours creating a nursery that is perfectly designed.  Clothes hang in the closet that have been organized by month and perfectly folded pajamas sit in dressers.  Hours of research go into finding the best car seats, and bedding, and swings... and all the other 'stuff' that makes for a perfect transition into parenthood.

It suddenly doesn't matter if you have concerns about your baby's growth.

Six weeks ago, The Husband and I had our anatomy scan at my regular obgyn's office.  They mentioned she was very low in my pelvis, making it difficult for them to measure her.  I needed to come back in four weeks for another ultrasound so they could get measurements of her head.  I chalked it up to her being her 'father's daughter' and stubbornly hiding.  

At 24w3d, I returned for another ultra sound.  After the ultra sound, my doctor mentioned that our little girl's head measurements were falling behind.  The head measurements were not proportional to her body growth.  At 24 weeks, her head was at least 2.5 weeks behind.  It became clear that they got small measurements at my 20 week, but weren't sure... due to her position.  However, the 24 week ultra sound confirmed.  I've been given a referral to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist on September 11th.  

My obgyn mentioned that all babies grow at a different paces.  Just like 12 year olds - everyone hits growth spurts at different times.  There is plenty of hope that her head will catch up and she just has an odd growth pattern.  However, a specialist has better equipment and can give a more detailed report.   It's totally possible we will walk into the specialist appointment and her head growth will have caught up.  If not, The Husband and will be able to walk out more knowledgeable and informed - and hopefully with less fear.  The unknown is scary.  

(Googling is even more scary... I don't recommend it.  Ever).

We are choosing not to post anything about our worries on facebook.  I want to wait until after our appointment and we can get some answers.  I would appreciate any of my FB friends to understand and help protect our fears.  

Here is a photo of our perfect little girl, with her perfectly disproportional head. 

I'm so in love.   

Pregnancy: Week 26

The Husband and I have conquered the Ikea furniture!  At last! 

I was so excited I didn't even bother picking up all of his tools before taking these photos.  

(that changing table to the right will eventually be painted...)

When it's all said and done, we're pretty happy with our purchases from Ikea.  I had heard good things about the Hemnes line and there was a sale that allowed me to buy new (vs. craigslist) and not feel guilty about the money.  Although I would have re-finished/painted something from Craigslist, I think this saved us a lot of time, energy and money.  I like the white more than I even expected in her room and the design is simple enough to (hopefully) last her a long time.  

My only complaint is that one of the backs of the drawers wasn't included in our box.  This meant I had to drive back to Ikea (it's a long drive...) and get a replacement part.  I could have waited for them to mail it - but I was getting antsy to check this off of the "to do" list.  

 I also picked up a few of Ikea's drawer organizers.  While her things are still so tiny, I think these will help keep the socks, hats, headbands, pacifiers all separate and organized.  

I do love that these dressers come with a design on the bottom of the drawers.  It's a nice touch.  

I've also got The Husband on board with the cloth diapers.  His only request was an all-in-one style.  I can't blame him, as these are the most like disposable, without actually disposing of them.  

We went to a store and looked at several styles and brands, but we came home with a clear favorite:

Bum Genius Freetimes

They have two 'flaps' inside each one is connected to the diaper on the respective end.  They allow for additional stuffing (for heavy wetters, or overnight).  We also preferred the snap vs. velcro - as we're hoping these diapers will get us through more than one kiddo.  

We went ahead and purchased our first three cloth diapers.  I just love them!

Because these are AIO, I don't anticipate them fitting baby girl as a newborn.  Our plan is to start with disposables as we get our footing as new parents.  Once she's big enough - we'll start the transition into cloth.  That's why we're holding off on purchasing too many CD  items now.  I want to make sure they're going to work well for her - and that it's something realistic for us.  

The Husband also installed our fancy new light dimmer/fan dimmer switch.  He did it one night while I worked late - and said it wasn't too much of a hassle.  

I really like the functionality of this, but my only complaint is that the fan seems to have a "hum" when the light is on.  That wasn't an issue before this was installed.  I'm not sure what is causing the humming, but it's annoying.  I haven't decided if it's a deal breaker or not.  Asking The Husband to un-install it doesn't sound like I want to do quite yet.  

This is the new light switch.  The final plate (that covers the screws) hasn't been installed.  The Husband wants me to be *sure* it's going to stay first. 

In non-photographic news, we attended our first Bradley class this week.  I think it's going to be really good for us.  It was nice to carve out two hours in the middle of the week for The Husband and I to focus just on each other and our growing family.  

I hope she likes stripes...

...until she is 18 years old.  

Because mama isn't interested in painting over these, ever.  

It started out as a simple pink stripe idea.  And like wildfire, it grew into five stripes, with three colors.  

The entire project took us two weekends of fairly constant work (measuring, leveling, re-leveling, taping, painting, second coats...).  Also, our laser level only works on two walls - and this room is oddly shaped so we were constantly checking to make sure everything lined up perfectly.  

It was certainly a labor of love - and in the end - I love the result.  

This next photo will give you a better perspective on how high the stripe sits on the walls.  

(and how oddly shaped the room is.  The door on the left is the door you enter through.  The door on the right is her closet.)

The entire width of the area painted is 31''.

The green stripes are each 4''

The white stripes are 2''

and the pink center stripe is 19''

The Husband also installed a ceiling fan.  All of the bedrooms were boxed and ready for ceiling fans, but we didn't feel like paying the builders an extra $150 per room to pick them out and install them for us.  We purchased three matching fans a few weekends ago (one for baby girl's room, the guest room, and the playroom) and we will slowly get them all installed.  

We also purchased a little gizmo that dims the lights, and changes the speed of the fan through the wall switch.  We haven't gotten around to doing it - but I'm excited to see how it works.  I am way too short for pull chains in this house.  Our ceilings are too high - and the chains have to dangle awkwardly low. I think the wall switch will be a perfect solution.  

Pregnancy: Week 23

Things are moving right along these days.  Finding out the sex of this baby finally put a lot of things into motion.  We have started the nursery transformation... and let me tell you... it's sloooooow going.  

We have two guest rooms that flank either side of a playroom.  We ended up picking the room that was a bit smaller for the nursery, so we could keep the queen in the other guest room for when people come over.  We only had a full sized bed in the nursery.  

We ended up pulling everything out of the room and stashing it in the playroom.

Now, the playroom looks like this:

We purchased three ceiling fans at Home Depot a few weekends ago.  (one for guest room, one for nursery, and one for the playroom).  Ask me if I'm surprised that they're sitting on the floor instead of hanging from the ceiling....

...The answer is NO.  The Husband keeps swearing he can and will take care of it.  We shall see.  

This is what is supposed to be a changing table.  It's turned into quite the 'catch all'.  

On top there are a pile of more girly clothes.  We scored those from a neighbor for about $15.  There are also tu-tu poms that I plan on hanging.  

Under that box of poms... you would find these.  

tiny UT socks.  I dieeeeeeeeee. 

We went to the UT co-op and went a *tiny* bit crazy and came home with those socks, three outfits, and these precious pacifiers.  The girl will bleed orange.

If you look hard enough in the first playroom shot, you can see my most favorite baby item (folded up and on the floor).

the BOB revolution CE

I have been pining for a BOB since, well, before I got pregnant. ha. 

Amazon had a great deal a few weeks ago - so we jumped.  And I love it, as expected.  

(as much as a person who doesn't even have a baby yet, and strolls around the house with an empty stroller, can love a stroller...)

It's plum.  And to all you negative-nellies out there saying "why would she pick plum??? Go gender neutral!!!".  I say "Plum is cuter".  Argument done.  I win.  

In the last post, I mentioned we were going to get the Ikea Hemnes 8 drawer dresser.  Lucky us, they went on sale and I talked The Husband into driving there to buy.  Low and behold... That dresser is TALL!  I'm 5'2'' and The Husband is 5'10''.  It would have certainly worked to put a changing pad on top of the dresser for him... but I don't think I could lift a kid (past infant stage) that high to change them.  After a lot of discussion, we ended up going with the Ikea Hemnes 6 drawer dresser in white.

We changed plans for a few reasons:

1.  The 8 drawer is too tall to reasonably use for a changing table.  Eliminating the "double duty" usage.  

2.  The 6 drawer is tall, and takes up much less floor space - a pro in the small bedroom.  

3.  Once this baby is potty trained we can get rid of the changing table, and that will free up floor space, where as the 8 drawer dresser will always take up more space... even past the diapering phase.  More room to play = good.  

With the money saved on the dresser, we purchased the matching chest with 2 drawers to use as a nightstand.  We still need to paint the current changing table... but what's another weekend 'to do'?  Right, husband????  Oh, and let's add "spend 10 hours assembling Ikea furniture" to that list - mmmkay?

As I said before, her room is slow going.  I had the genius idea to have horizontal stripes.  I thought it was brilliant because our ceilings and walls are the same color (thanks to the builders).  It's a darkish beige that I actually like.  My thought was if we paint the walls - the ceilings going to look random and dark... so we would need to paint the ceiling white, too.  And that felt like too much work.

bahahahahahaha.

bahahahahahahahahahaha.

We could have painted the room and ceilings on three different occasions in the time it has taken us to get to where we are with the stripes.  I was so naive.  

Here was the plan that The Husband and I worked up (on power point):

Tan walls remain the same.

Green stripe 4'' on top and bottom.

White stripe 2'' inside of the green stripes.

17'' pink stripe in the middle.

and yes, you're getting a sneak peak of her name.  This isn't facebook, or email, or spread the word news - por favor.  Most of my own family doesn't know what we picked... and this blog is even private from them - so if you know me in real life.  shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

But, we love it.  It's sweet, feminine, classic, and has some great nickname options.  

We typed in her name (off center... oops) to show that we will have her name cut from wood and displayed within that pink stripe over her name.

So, cute idea, right? 

After two weekends... this is what we have done:

sigh.

 The dark green is 'frog tape'.  We spent several hours trying to ensure that the outside borders were perfectly level, then we primed the entire 31'' span, then we taped out the bottom stripe (just another 2-3 hours of making sure it was level...) and painted it green.

Then we put 2'' tape where the white stripe will be to "protect" that area.  Once The Husband finishes taping out that top stripe, we'll be good to paint the green stripe on top and the pink.  Then, we'll have to go back through and finish off with the white stripe.  

I have total faith I will love it when we're done... but right now... it's a pain in my side.  

Want to know what else is painful?  The tap dancing that is currently taking place on top of my bladder.